I'll play voodoo with your heart if you don't
by desperatemayie
Summary: Megan and Kate have to come clean with their mutual feelings…


**Pairing:** Kate/Megan

**Synopsis: **Megan and Kate have to come clean with their mutual feelings…

Kegan aren't mine obviously. Otherwise, they would be a couple by now on the show! The wonderful song I'm using is _No Light, No Light _by _Florence and The Machine_ and it isn't mine either.

**Thank you for the amazing Sydney who betaread this :) **

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**I'll play voodoo with your heart if you don't speak now**

_by desperatemayie_

_You are the hole in my head_

She felt sick all night. Her stomach couldn't stop gurgling, causing her a lot of pain. Her head was throbbing; a terrible migraine that Tylenol couldn't ease. Her eyes kept opening all of a sudden, leaving her even more sore and frustrated. She mentally cursed the brilliant idea she had to call Lacey and asked her to prepare dinner on her own while she was stuck in traffic. Lacey interpreted that opportunity as a huge compliment. So she decided to cook salmon with salsa and an obviously expired mayonnaise sauce, served with french fries (which are never a good match with salmon, especially when they are greasy and not cooked enough). The salsa had too many spices in it -almost the whole tabasco bottle- but her mother's heart was sinking only at the thought to tell her teenage girl that she cooked awfully. So, she faked some smiles and drank more red wine. _Baaaad idea._ Because of that, she couldn't make any sweet dream about her, thought she thought about her constantly…

_You are the space in my bed_

At 6 :30, her alarm went off. Like if it really changed something. In a groan, Megan pulled her forearm away from her eyes and let it fall on the pillow next to her. Then, her arm slowly slid down Kate's nape, her trapezus muscle, her thoracic spine, her lumbar spine.. and then the white sheet. She tapped a couple of times, no sign of her. Megan sighed and shut off her alarm, turning on her back and buried her face into her pillow.

_You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said_

_Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate…_ Megan had to wake up even if she only wanted to throw up and stay in bed for the whole day. She had to make Lacey's breakfast, dress up, drive her to school, pretending she was into the case of Berverly Stevenson, a 19 years old who was apparently murdered with a chainshaw in a wheat field. For the first time in her life, Megan Hunt wasn't completely intrigued and submerged by a case. All she could think about was Kate. Kate was the mystery, the enigma to solve. She was tired of waiting, tired of trying to understand the mixed signals her blonde boss sent.

_You are the night-time fear_

Kate took a huge sip of her Starbucks mocha and sighed loudly. The traffic was endless that morning. She couldn't believe she skipped her alarm -for the second time this week- and not avoiding the traffic like she used to do for the past ten years. Though she had some good reasons to need every extra minute of sleep she could get; last night was awful. She had nightmares over nightmares. All of them were involving Dr. Hunt. Dr. Hunt as a serial killer who tried to steal her heart during a surgery. Dr. Hunt as the Evil Queen trying to murder her as Sleeping Beauty. Dr. Hunt being in a hostage situation with Lacey and Kate couldn't save them. Dr. Hunt confessing her love to her, but a crazy killer enters the lab room and kills her. The message Kate understood from those dreams was very simple: Megan Hunt is in love with her and Kate chickens out. Megan is obviously trying to tell Kate what she feels but Kate is too scared to do something about it. Basically, she knew that her denial would end up killing Megan's feelings. This situation would also destroy Kate. She couldn't explain it, but since she broke up with Todd, she started getting attracted to her impresive redheaded employee. At the beginning, Dr. Murphy thought it was because she was still missing Todd and it was a crazy way to get over the lawyer, but as the weeks went by, she found herself looking forward to having lunch with her and doing autopsies in the lab room late at night. Even when Megan disobeyed her, she was feeling less angry. She was even agreeing with her rebellious decisions. But how come? She never felt sexually attracted to a woman before. The chemistry she was sharing with the redhead was fascinating, yet troubling. Somehow, strangely enough, she had the feeling that Megan was feeling the exact same way. They were both straight, professionally happy, beautiful women who were having huge crushes on another woman. But how could she come clean without fearing everything that might happen next?

_You are the morning when it's clear_

But, for a couple of seconds, all her fears suddenly, momentarily vanished when Megan got out of the evelator, the sunlight hitting her curves beautifully. She was wearing a black trench coat, a velvet dress with a low cut neckline and leopard print high heels. Kate had to admit it: Megan Hunt knew how to pick the perfect shoes. But that morning, Kate was more appealled to her choice of dress; she took advantage at the fact the redhead wasn't walking or looking at her direction for staring at her chest. It was in moments like this that Kate stopped being in denial and thought she was really into women. That i twas normal to dream once in a while about having sex with her in their offices. That she wanted Megan's sweet, adorable smile to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.

_When it's over, you'll start. You're my head, you're my heart._

"You really should have done those tests without my permission, Megan. I thought that lately, we were on the same page."

"When it was urgent to run them, you were out meeting the mayor."

"You could have called me. I looked through Curtis's notes and the victim's file and those tests were essential. I would have say yes for sure, Megan."

"I send you a text message."

"I didn't receive anything. Don't lie to me or I'll get you off this case." The blonde raised her voice, crossing her arms over her chest.

Megan frowned. "Really? You want to play it that way? We are this close to catch the killer. Can you please give me a little credit. It's far from being the most rebeillious thing that I have ever done, Chief Murphy."

Kate took a deep breath and looked down, trying to regain some composure. "I'm sorry, I… you are right. I just have to be careful now. I met my boss yesterday and we talked about your… well, the liberties you take and she wants me to be more strict with you… though I agree that you were right this time to not wait for my approval, but you know I can't let this happen eve…'' Kate looked up and raised a brow when she noticed Megan exhaling painfully, rubbing her temple while holding her stomach.

"Are you alright?"

Megan swallowed, nodding weakly. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine. Lacey cooked fish last night and let's just say I got really close to having food poisoning.."

Kate's heart crushed a little as she walked closer to her employee. She slowly moved her hands to Megan's forearms but sealed her hands behind her back at the last minute. She was too fragile mentally for risking any touch. It was better if she stuck to her boss's facade, even if it was becoming harder and harder to stay professional around the woman who was occuping all her thoughts twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. "You can take the day off if you don't feel too well," She simply declared, almost in a sad whisper.

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes. I never knew daylight could be so violent. A revelation in the light of day. You can't chose what stays and what fades away. And I'd do anything to make you stay. No light, no light, no light. Tell me what you want me to say. Through the crowd, I was crying out. And in your place there were a thousand other faces. I was disappearing in plain sight. Heaven help me, I need to make it right._

But the only things that Megan could detect from that whisper wasn't sadness but despair and coldness. And she was so tired of it. She wasn't crazy, she knew there was chemistry between them. And she couldn't take it any longer.

"Okay, enough!" The redhead spat, pratically yelled, with her usual crual tone.

"Enough what?"

"Yesterday during dinner, Lacey put on that old Katy Perry CD and I thought about you during 'Hot'N'Cold'. Is it normal that I think of my boss during a teenager's song? I don't think so!"

Kate couldn't help but snort.

"It's not funny! Okay, I admit hearing me talking about Katy Perry is a bit… awkward , but not now. I am being serious, Kate. One minute you are sweet with me and the second, you hate me. I thought we were more than just co-workers. I thought we became friends."

"We are."

"Then, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what I am doing wrong. Am I supposed to tell you something? What is it? What is it that you want from me?"

_You want a revelation. You want to get right. But it's a conversation I just can't have tonight. You want a revelation, some kind of resolution. You want a revelation._

Kate took a deep breath and looked into Megan's bright green eyes absently, but deeply. She knew this had to happen. She knew she had to tell the truth. She knew that this was becoming torture for both of them. Even though Kate Murphy often gave the impression that she was a fearless boss, she was scared. Scared to officially come out of the closet. Scared to be in a relationship with one of her employees. Scared of being exposed to the judgment of her other employees. Scared of being fired by the commissioner. Scared to have to confront Judge Joan Hunt. Humiliated to meet Todd when Lacey would go back to her father. Scared that Lacey would stop liking her. Scared that Megan realized she wasn't into women. But, at the same time, she was scared to never being able to kiss her. To not make love to her all night long. To never being able to hold her in her naked, sweaty arms and shyly whispering '_I love you' _in an exhausted breath. To never hold her hand in the elevator and secretly kiss her. To never make her dinner. To never be able to take a shower with her. Not saying how beautiful she looks. To never see her in her Juicy red haute couture underwear. To never go to movies with her. Not being able to go to her appartment for getting drunk after a long hard day of work and doing some nasty things to her. Not borrowing that wonderful purple satin dress. Not buying her some very expensive romantic Christmas gifts. Not being the cause of her so dorky and adorable laugh that would be followed by a '_God, I love you, Kate Murphy'_ and a sweet, loving peck.

_Would you leave me if I told you what I've done? And would you need me, if I told you what I've become? Cause it's so easy to say it to a crowd but it's so hard, my love, to say it to you out loud…_

"Kate… please, just say something. We're both adults. I can handle the truth, no matter what it is, but for that, I have to know what the goddamn tru…"

Kate didn't let the redhead finish. The truth was lingering in her mouth. The truth needed to be poured out and she had to finally express all the feelings she was hiding for too long. The truth took form as a big push. She pushed Megan behind her long white leather arm chair. Megan was so taken aback, she almost fell out of her stilettos. Kate took advantage of that and pulled her down softly, getting on top of her, stroking her cheeks lovingly and giving her a passionate kiss. She explored her mouth hungrily and it didn't take time for the redhead to dive in, as surprised as she was.

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes. I never knew daylight could be so violent. A revelation in the light of day. You can't chose what stays and what fades away. And I'd do anything to make you stay. No light, no light, no light. Tell me what you want me to say._

After a couple of minutes, before she actually lost it completely and undressed the best M.E she never worked with, Kate broke the kiss but stayed close to the overwhelmed redhead. She pressed her foreahed against hers, poking her nose ever so lovingly. She could feel her panties getting ruined already, but she had to remain professional somehow. That, and she refused to let their first time to be in her office; it was so unromantic. And Megan deserved for probably what would be her first time with a woman to be the most wonderful, romantic thing ever. If that would actually happen one day. Which brought Kate to answer Megan's anxiety with proper words…

"What I'll eventually want you to tell me is that you love me…"

THE END


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